He knew it was murder, but he carried on , almost huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf. Ok HE was an honest, not a piglet eating man ,while the wolf was not.
You hardly needed to be a Technocrat to figure that out.
Niceness and a love for humanity and human food showed in his jiggling Beer Belly.
And the colour choice of his windcheater. Neon Green.
And that by the way was forced on him by his daughter. Mr Huffing and Puffing Wolf had never,ever worn this colour.
No sir he had not.
Neither had he ever sported a hook shaped ear piece.
He was smart in a non smartphone way. After all, phones were invented to talk and his standard cheap stubby keypad phone did just that.
But no, his credit card swiping daughter had to buy him this super expensive,as big as his hand, Androgynous Android brick type phone.
And it was an Indian Micromax!
Why not imported?
He was the one who was footing the bill....
He was old school and face it,he couldn't read without his specs.
And then suddenly,something spoke to him.
Voices from the depths of the phone!
"Stride Faster Dude!"
Ok he was not Luke Skywalker the last time he checked!
He pulled the abomination out of his pockets and saw a few ripples of light floating on the screen of his phone.
And it was asking him or rather commanding him to stride faster.
Yo!This was not an elliptical machine. It was plain mother -freakishly solid -earth.
And now there was this red and green phone icon things bleeping. Ok, he was not so daft that he couldn't figure out that green meant go. Swipe across,she said...
"Daddy? Why are you not running? "
"Because you called!" Teenagers really needed things to be spelt out to them, most of the time.
"How many steps have you walked? Did you check the pedometer?"
"Did you check the Apps for the calories burnt? Daddy , what's it's you? The phone has all that info about the exercises you need to do....and I'm tracking your running route."
That's why he never joined the army. He never wanted robe tracked...
So he replied to his almost mum daughter with an accent similar to hers, "Whatever,"
And tapped the end sign.
He was not going to be slave to his supposedly smartphone.
And he trudged along, watching the cell towers dwindling and the 2G ,3G and 4G signs jump around in the topmost layer...
And he saw this geeky guy sitting at the chai shop,replete with his headphones and glasses and eyes that didn't blink in all the 20 seconds he stared at him.
He tiptoed slowly towards him and as his beer belly knocked on the geeks shoulder,he saw a speck of the Jedi.
Another Star Wars nerd.
And then he shook the geek out of his stupor...
"Hello there? Jedi? You're watching a movie on your phone?"
The poor geek seemed as inept at social nicities as he was at handling technology.
What could you expect of this Technocratic generation?
"Yo Unkil...." (Sounded like a Uncle-to be fair)
"Can I watch too?"
"Sure, but your phone is better than mine is ... Why don't you see on yours? Ah you don't know how to ...uh? No worry ,I'll show you,"
So he showed me... "Tap this, feed this number, now write this, enter this money from your credit card... And watch!"
I could do this forever.
So now that my "Jedi" had taught me...
And wished that "May the Force be with you," ,I'm going to put,y new smartphone to good use and be incredibly smarter.
And my message to you "Use the Phone Dude!"
This is not an ode to the Star Wars movie franchise.
Don't get me wrong dude , but if you haven't seen any of the movies,or for that matter any other iconic movie with super special brilliant SFX ,YOU NEED TO USE your 4G streaming and Qualcomm Snapdragon Octacore processor powered SMARTPHONE to do it. And if you own any of the latest flagship offerings from MICROMAX , Pop your corn and enjoy them light sabres .
You need to see them .
Now. And enjoy the brilliance of technology with my Cosmic Brownies.
So what are you watching today???