Sunday, June 21, 2015

Of Sordid Smelly Tails and Tales

Someone up there made sure that the four legged creatures should refrain from being smell less. The smell is what identifies them to be four legged creatures.
"Maim saheb thoda dettol ,thoda phenyl ,thoda mitti ka tel dalne ka na pocha main, baarish ka baas aata hai" ,advises Madam the maid ,in her cute sing song Marathi accent.
Essentially telling me that I need to add disinfectants to the water when the floor is being mopped coz my home stinks- politely that is.
For all ye new to my blog.
This is what my home looks like...give or take a few things...

This is the first time in my married life that me and my boys read also one dog are confined to an apartment. This is also my first monsoon in Mumbai.
The boys have always had the freedom to remove stinky shoes, socks and sundry stinky stuff in the veranda to mercy fully leave my house smelling fresh and inviting.
He loves the balcony now.
However, now in Mumbai , even sweet dog chooses to shake himself dry in my sitting room.
Google -photographing a wet dog has to be the most difficult. 
So my cushion covers and curtains and curios are dotted with bacteria feeding on his body oil and farting to emit that wet dog smell.
Put this way ,it seems gross. So most of my curios are packed up as we don't like the extra dusting to be done in such circumstances.
So since we live with the farting bacteria emitting the wet dog smells , we tend to ignore the curios.The Lesser the surface area smelling bad,the better.
Could such a cute thing smell so bad?Ask the maid.
Add to that the smell of the washed clothes and sundy laundry drying under fans ,because the sun is on a sabbatical.I havent felt any sunshine for the last one week.
Add to that some 15 -20 cigarettes daily that are supposedly smoked near the windows or in the balcony, and two different brands of Deodorants and after shaves-boys here remember...
Add to that the stinky smell of the gym wear and shoes and wet umbrellas that are stacked near the door.
Add to that the supposed aromas of heeng tadka daals ,and chicken and sometimes pakoras.
No wonder ,sweet dog likes to eat his food in the balcony. All these smells interfere with the aroma of his chicken rice.
No wonder the crows stand on the balcony balustrade and caw ,admonishing me on my lack of house keeping skills ...and maybe gossiping about me too. How can you trust these black beady eyed monsters. No wonder they look as though they mock me.
My vanilla essence just isn't as effective anymore. Baking bread aromas get drowned before they reach the bedrooms.
All my scented candles and Dhoop Battis and Pot Pourri with essential oils have been wasted.
That is why my maid smells the farting bacteria that makes my house smell like a giant wet dog. And to think sweet dog is a small Lhasa Apso!
I have tried the baking soda and vinegar mixture to wipe him dry ,but that only gave him a skin infections and the medications obviously smell worse.
That's why Madam my maid tries to put down the wet dog smell to a simple baarish ka Baas. The foul smell of the rain!
All my efforts have been in vain.
I rue the day we got stationed to a place where bungalows are few and far between.
No flowers ,no lemon grass...
Our social life has come to a near stand still, considering we can't invite people over who wont be acclimatised to, or understand the farting bacteria as us.
The maid finally had a suggestion.
She works in another house that is also infested with farting bacteria and two dogs. Big dogs at that.
"Wo madam bolti ,safed batli se espray karne ka-barobar sheee shee karne ka... to baarish ka baas jayenga." 
So with suggestions from the other lady I must spray a room freshner to get rid of these fumes. I went looking for the safed batli (white bottle)with espray(aerosol spray) and look what i found...

The smell of lavender and other pleasant flowers rules over the farting bacteria and wet clothes smell.

Ambi-pur Air Effects to the rescue ,everytime now.
No more Baarish Ka Baas. from #SmellyToSmiley.
So Monsoon or no,my home will always smell of smiles.
After a few sprays, I can rest assured that my maid and guests will never smell anything unpleasant here again. Just enjoy the hospitality of a happy ,odor free home. And there will be no more mention of any gas being emitted from any living creature. Ever.

PS :it is a scientifically proven fact that bacteria break down the organic acids in wet dog fur to produce smells akin to dead and decaying organic matter.

 “I am blogging for #SmellyToSmiley activity in association with Ambi Pur."


Mary Oxendale Spensley said...

Goodness. Your life has taken a turn. Your garden was so beautiful! Since you're stuck at home, and alone, you might enjoy the novel, Housekeeping, by Marilynne Robinson. It's set very near to where we used to live when we were in the Kootenies area of the Rocky Mountains.

Sweet said...

Mary. .. thats how the cookie crumbles here.I.ll be looking for that book...I'm sure your houses dont smell as bad in the rains.

Until the next

Until the next


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